If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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