So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
