the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
it hurts more in the daytime
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
