Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
