he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
