pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
