Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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