i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize