Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize