ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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