Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You're a waste of cheezeits
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
