I feel like I'm in dance class right now
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
