I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
