Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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