I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
