I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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