you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
you had me at cake vodka
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
