Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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