I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
