i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
