Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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