see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
