the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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