I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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