the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
