everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
