i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
