please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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