Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
