Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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