How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
