I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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