I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
