I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
