I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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