please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
