I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
