Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
