This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
