Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
