Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
