my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
