Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
i now understand why vodka
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
