he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
