I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
