Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
