I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize