How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
and she was petting her beer can
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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