I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
