Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
