halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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