And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize