Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
