You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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