I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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